Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize
