i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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