Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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