Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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