Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
