I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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