I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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