69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
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You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
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fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
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