We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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