Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
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I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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