Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
