3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
