I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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