All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
