I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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