Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
