tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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