i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Found the puke drawer
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
