We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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