Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
