I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My dick has a subreddit
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
