We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
