He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
