tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
