put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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