But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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