OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize