News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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