forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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