when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
