Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
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Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
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Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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