maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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