Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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