Duck Duck Cougar?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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