i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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