apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
