Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
