i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
