I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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