I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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