Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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