he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
