She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
A+ Viking dick
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
