I must be too annoying 4 u.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
