Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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