think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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