I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
