Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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