Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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