he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
