Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
