Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Text me some of your sweat
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
