Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
