Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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