if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
