How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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