'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
